Rued for being rude

The line that divides the act of being honest and being rude is a thin one. Recently I trod this skinny line and flagrantly strayed out on the wrong side. Blame it on a moment of madness or a complete misunderstanding of other person's ability to handle my surfeiting dose of honesty or truth. In the end, it's completely shattering to have hurt someone, especially if you consider them as a good human being, perhaps better than yourself.

Since my deft at handling situations, especially the sensitive ones, seem to have had hit a rock bottom, I needed some serious postmortem. Unfortunately, postmortems can be equally killing and the fear of being cast as a villain by your own self inhibits your ability to make a fair judgement. And mind is a great trickster, it tends to rationalize your act as a face saving measure.

You could say I fell for the trick. Nevertheless looking back at it, it feels right to have been truthful than to have patched the situation by conjuring up a lie. Of course the guilt factor of having been hurtful still lingers. I didn't have the ability to stomach it. Perhaps handling the situation tactfully, could have lessened the guilt, though it wouldn't have completely freed me from it. I guess the remnant guilt is a debilitating byproduct of a confused brain, struggling to be at peace with its left and right halves.